Monday, August 22, 2011

The biggest Greenbean of them all


The number one thing that really gets me going has got to be inconsiderate drivers.  Living in a metropolitan city with a population of 5 million plus you are bound to encounter drivers that act as if they are the only one on the road.  Personally I think I am a pretty good driver.  In the 28 years that I have been driving I have had only one speeding ticket to my credit.  It occured one mile from my home on the actual road that I lived on.  The sad thing or rather funny thing was I didn't have proof of registration or insurance in the car at the time.  A week before this happened my boyfriend at the time and I went to his parents house for dinner.  His mother insisted we take the leftovers home and since he didn't want to smell the steak in the car he tossed it into the glove compartment.  A few days later something smelled like it had crawled inside my car and died but neither one of us remembered the steak.  We looked under the car, under the hood, even under the seats.  We looked everywhere but in the glove compartment.  At that time I was driving a 1974 Plymouth Duster which didn't have air-conditioning.  I left the windows open hoping that maybe I drove over some roadkill and the stench would eventually dissipate.  It didn't.  It was early summer in Georgia.  The next day I knew I had to investigate a little further and when I finally opened the glove compartment OH MY GOD!  Something really did crawl in there and die!  It also leaked all over my proof of insurance and my registration card.  I needed to replace them but I also needed toget back to work so it wasn't going to get done that day.  Yes, the same day I got my speeding ticket.  When I told the cop what had happened he acted like he didn't believe me so I offered to let him smell the glove box.  Wouldn't you?  Needless to say he declined my offer, wrote me a speeding ticket, gave me a warning about the other stuff and sent me on my way.

Today I was driving on the perimeter trying to get to doctor's appointment when a dump truck, situated two lanes to my right, suddenly cut over into my lane and stopped in front me.  Just stoppped!  I went from 60 to 0 in .5 seconds.  He didn't wave me on or even use his signal.  Now, I am not an outwardly agressive driver.  I don't tailgate or cut people off.  I use my signal and I even let people cut into a line of traffic because I believe in good Karma but I do thoroughly enjoy cussing every idiot that comes within a quarter mile radius of my car.  I do it in the privacy of my own car, for my own satisfaction.  Today I threw my hands up with the best Italian gesture I know and layed on the horn while a few expletives flew out of my mouth.  I won't even go into the daggers that shot from my eyes shrouded in flames.  I felt justified and vindicated.  I could write a similar story to this one every single day.  I don't even have to get on the highway, I can just pull out of my driveway and there they are.  Fortunately (and I know that this is most fortunate for me) you'll never know if I am ticked off unless your in the car with me.  And just so you know,  Karen does the exact same thing.  When we are riding together it some how doubles our pleasure.  We egg eachother on and then laugh at ourselves.  My husband and my mother think it is ridiculous.  I personally find it liberating in a passive/agressive sort of way.  So I ask you to try and be more considerate of others and if you do something stupid while you are out there driving about town, believe me when I tell you, someone is thinking some really bad thoughts about you.  I know I am.

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