Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Clap, Clap, Point: Famous First (and Last) Words

Lisa and I started this blog almost 2 weeks ago and so far, I haven't said anything. Shocking, I know. At least is it for anyone who knows me. Why? Because I am a glorious talker. I talk to everyone ... friends, family, neighbors, strangers. I talk at the dinner table. I talk on the phone (a lot). I talked all through school.  Used to get in trouble for it. Every report card I ever got said "good student ... talks too much".  Hell, I like to talk so much I learned to talk in French. And Italian. And Russian. A few years ago, I even learned American Sign Language so I could talk to my neighbor's sweet elderly aunt. She used to come outside and try to sign with me when I was in my garden, and it drove me crazy not to be able to talk to her. If talking were an Olympic sport (which it clearly should be), I would be the world champion. Then again, Olympic sports are for amateurs. So maybe not. After all, I am a professional. I talk for a living. In fact, I've often dreamed of going back to every grade school teacher I ever had and telling them "Ha! ... I get paid to talk now!"

Of course, even if it wasn't my job, I'd still be a talker. I love it. And I am good at it. No, make that GREAT at it. One might even say I was born to talk. But, believe it or not, I wasn't born talking. In fact, according to my mother (and she should know), I didn't talk until I was almost 3 years old. Yes, you heard right.  Me ... silent ... for nearly 3 years. Shocking, I know. So what was I doing all those quiet years? Apparently, I was clapping and pointing. If I wanted a toy, I'd clap & point, and someone would give it to me. If I wanted food ... clap, clap, point. If I wanted to get down from my high chair ... clap, clap, point. If I wanted up ... clap, clap, point. Neat trick, huh? Well, at least for a while. Mom says one day she finally thought "hell with that ... if the kid wants something, she can learn how to say it".

Famous last words on her part. And definitely famous first (and never ending) words on mine.

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